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Love me when I least deserve

When I least deserve it, when I least expect it. When I need at least feel like I have. The more unbelievable it seems.
When I feel I have bottomed out a ray of light comes to visit. It was about me with your mocking smile and reminds me that I'm alive. Sometimes, if I'm too bad, brings me to rain refresh my face. And it makes me smile. It makes me think that all is not lost, there is still much to fight. Let others talk a lot and that basically do not care. That the only important words are those of our inner and love. To be trust people, that although it seems that there is out there is still much hope. That we behave badly second chances exist and are there to correct us, to become better.
And that's when the tears away, when there is light. When you think that however bad the world will forever be changed. When the optimistic side wins the battle and makes you remember who you really are.


We are all off the light from time to time, is normal. The difference is in what we do later. We can leave it off and learn to live in darkness or fight on again. To achieve to re-look, because our soul shine again. Losing

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Can you see me?

north, not knowing who you are, do not act like you had behaved before. You say you've changed, they tell you you do not recognize. Everything that hurts but the worst is to accept that those who criticize you are right.
But still, everyone is entitled to make mistakes. It is not really a right is something that is linked to being people. Everyone makes mistakes, we hurt all others. And we all regret, but some say no. Mourn not fix anything, just empty your heart, but is important because the empty can refill it without us even for the mistakes. It is also important to learn to forgive. At demásya ourselves, those that make us dañoya us when we hurt others. It is important not be swayed by the opinions of those outside. We must listen but do not forget what we tell ourselves.
And when the damage is done, when you say you do not recognize you when you do not recognize yourself, you have to stop mourn. At that point the heart is already enough empty, refill time. Slowly, slowly, not wanting to get ahead, relying on others. Without thinking of the past and negative things. Make a new road that pass, pass with full of experiences to improve the heart. And come the end, because there will be waiting for a pardon. And the important thing is to, what we choose.

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fastbeats @ 2011-02-20T20: 17:00

As I catch you not connected, I tell you here and as you will read it:)
Well, it turns out that ... sorhello you again! and I think this time will be true: D (I hope!)
i tell you:)
as it turns out that red cross is a guy who is not nothing wrong and that is super crazy. Carlos, it's called. congenial for him then ... were putting together all of Saturday together (Saturday 12, osea this is not the last) and I added to tuenti night and started to speak but at all times, buaah, great ... and thus the silly just saying we were going to celebrate Valentine's Day together but I thought all this joke ... naaah it, we ended up leaving on Friday: D and well, it was great ... was much that I was not so comfortable with a person ... was super nice: D now I have a little scared, because I think the karma is going to pay me ... something like, "you have not caught by other guys for now this is not gonna get it for you" ... I hope not: S well I'll tell you in detail:)
you must be thinking I'm a slut or something ... but you're not the only x) because you see, Arantxa has pulled all week calling me slut. and between joke and joke ... but hey, I said it quite seriously ... well, part of it takes a week to plan: I'm deprimidisima fuck is my life ... super edge-.- they have given us papers to sell and pay us the tour and that he was trying to roll a few kids from 3 º to me bought them and she comes out and jumps them: this it is not buy some that is a slut ... Look, I sat in a bad ... is that neither you can imagine ... because it is not very puritanical streak that I have, but if I stayed with the boy this is because I do not know ... has given me incredible vibrations, long time since I felt that way about a guy ... but she is not the most appropriate to speak ¬ ¬ so I took off from there super pissed ... and I started talking with meki and told him everything ... Well, if you see me ... and she told meki and apparently ar ar you started: is to understand me, because before I was the one that linked long aixa not linking anything and now is the opposite ... and I had set up the guy that (first news I had) and felt really bad they got along so well ... Meki and says: but you had spoken with ELO something? and says going, going ... if I had not added ... I do not know ... as aunt, if you like tell me or something-.-
and ayerrrr after ar red cross and we got drunk a lot and I had to take care (this was the karma, as I stood in fifth xD) and today I have sent a private I put:
Hello, thank you very much Auntie for yesterday, sorry a lot, I spent, I spend a lot, as I have all week handing me, sorry, you know I do a joke because for me or you're a slut or anything like that and never will be, Aixa, sorry a lot, say I'm not having a good time and maybe maybe he has paid in anywhere with you, but I'm so sorry, really. I hope you can forgive me, because, after all are you the one who is always there, which I need my hand, but do not know how to ask forgiveness Aixa, really, as I'm so sorry I told you not only for last night, but for everything.
I love you.
Happy ending? I do not know.
Well, I think that is all ... Had more to tell but I have forgotten and those are the main ... Love you:)

MUCH TE ECHO LESS.

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nonsense.

do not know why I tend to think of these things. Maybe it's because I miss you. No. I think it is nostalgia. It is another regret. My chest hurts. Sometimes I can not breathe. And I feel I have to write. With each letter that traces my pen my lungs expand. Open the door to oxygen. As if he had cracked the code that restricts entry to strangers. I smoked so much that I think the clean air and is nothing more than a foreigner. What a stupid. Smoking. Drinking. To forget. Why do people cling to these assumptions lifeguard? Running away is for cowards. Maybe At this point I have the word written on the front. It may be that the reason why I can not look in the mirror. I get the feeling that you're back. I whisper in her ear. I have goose bumps of the neck. The toes tremble. And I see you. So cute. So perfect. I think a lie. May not exist. What if you were not just a star product of my imagination? Drawn with such precision. With so much detail. I felt real. I had the feeling I held you. She could feel the touch of your hands. You could even get to feel the softness of your lips. I do not know. I think I'm ranting. Delirious. Maybe I'm thinking about sleeping. Is that possible? Or maybe you have cheated me and what I bought this morning is not snuff. Or just drink me is taking its toll. I know it will not. But what I want is that this is over. Up. Stop being a coward. But where to start? I think a good start would be to stop biting my nails.

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Another point of view. Wait

're beautiful. In every way. And believe me I do not speak only of what you and I know. I mean all of you. Getting up every day next to you is a gift. Serve strong coffee and thick as you like is what makes you to like me me. You bid farewell with a kiss and smell fresh wildflowers such that only smell in the field is a good start. You feel lucky. You know that life has any meaning for me. And I may not have time to miss you. Or rather, should not time to miss me while I spend these hours. But I do not know how to find those seconds to whisper your name. To write on paper. To pronounce it softly. To scribble your initials in my hand. And when I I realize I'm in the car. I get home. Not. I bet that is four minutes flat to see you again. And always. Walk through the door rattled. Smiling as one can. Laughing at the little details. Looking for that little spark that lies behind everyday events. Behind everything we do. That which we give no importance. And you hold me. I think you think that for me is just a hug. But more. More. It's confirmation. The affirmation I need. That gesture calling me. That tells me that when I hear you breathe by my side on the mattress is not a pleasant dream. Not a mirage or an imagination too perfect. You. You really are. And I wonder. What could be bigger than this?

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, London. SORRY

Only my soul can now understand this feeling so alive I feel that twists and takes shape within me. It may not be the best time of my life. Maybe I've lived those happier days. It is even possible that I have left to live much better experience. But no regrets. Although the dream was not expected. Although I feel a little disappointed. As much as things have not been as planned. I do not care. I want to return. I want to be there again. Although my mind is no longer the same. Although I will not be either. I do not mind. I want to go there. Lost in the streets. Laugh by just being outside my home. Of my country. From my site. Although let's face it, not that I feel truly belong somewhere. I want to hold on to the meter bar to not fall for their speed. Longing that landscape so different from this. Tall buildings. Colored lights. People walking. Driving cars with the steering wheel to the right. Men dressed in suits. Clutching briefcases by stress. Light eyes. Muted hair. Decker buses stained with passion. The weight of the umbrella in the bag becomes a habit. Essential. As if it were the mobile phone. People. People and more people. Bungalows. Bars other than I'm used to seeing. Different voices. More closed lips. Education. Sorry for everything. Smiles so different from here. Signs unknown. Attractive storefronts. Department stores unknown to me. Streets that seem avenues. Walking kilometers. Impromptu kisses in the rain. Ordinary women runway models that seem to parade down the sidewalk. Silent Voices. Rings prices. Another air. Other contamination. Another world. I miss him. I miss. Not quite a Anoy and perceive the gap. I re-live it. Although it is not perfect. As much as it seems a different city which does not met after 365 days. Neither rain will soak me disappointed. Neither the cold steal me what I feel. Wait , London. do not know when I will return. Maybe too long. But I promise to warn you before doing so.

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.

holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa SORHE!
yes, I know, I have no forgiveness: (
but I have been a fatal weekend
ear and I was wrong and I was asleep on the couch
course, when I woke up I was not better (I usually sit pq good nap)
and were above the 18

xDDDDD good, only rough if you're angry you go soon ...


TE QUIERO

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. . . Yrdcgvhkçpoñuyoy

Let's see, I'll tell you what they gave to the fifth ...
On Friday night the big party was not? Then we started to drink ... And I I spent ... Bayleys drank a cup (do not write well but buenoxD), a 43, one of befetter, two sips of vodka and it was giving people ... And I smoked a cigar and a half on my own ... For total, which rose muchísimooo me and I got into the asshole. I lie with Jorge once (but there was still good) and started to pass him ... I started fooling with Yeary, fooling around as usual but it bestiaa ... I gathered Pepiñoy tongue was arming itself with doors to get jealous of Irene (but this of bromaa xDD). Well, remember Villa? The carrying much behind me ... Then I began: "Come, Liat me not to ... So the pain in the ass and give me all the time: no, I'm with George on messes and will be angry ... I do not want ... Then came Yeray and both giving me the pain in the ass for me to roll with it ... For total, we gave two kisses. All this sitting on stairs 10 meters away from George, who we saw ...
And suddenly he was so normal and I began to mourn ... To say I was a slut, not wanting to be wrong with Daniela, Jorge was going to be very angry with me ... And I started to vomit. I got fatal, ready to give me something, my friends wanted to take me to the doctor and all ... When I went down to the house we were stopped by the guards and began to ask if was OK to say that I take home and that if he had vomited ... But in the end I went and got me the normal way, but hey, I took home at 4:30 so I missed midnight ...
And the next day I logged on to tuenti and was Jorge and asked for forgiveness as about 1000 times and told me he loved me far from the first Diaye fucked it might have happened that ... And I said I understood perfectly that he was angry and wanted to forgive me if you would understand ... And I'm not going on a roll and when I'm like I hurt the demásy at least wanted to do was hurt him ... Well, I plan to ask that he perdóny super angry and gone ... And at night we talked and I told him I wanted no more dañoy him that I thought he had caught more than me and that before him suffer more preferred not to follow trouble ... And it pissed a montóny went to the club again ... And I did not speak with him. Well, when I Conet this afternoon was this private tuenti:

have you ever written a song? As well, all who come here do not think you will like it too, but yes, I have been a comfortable, and as it is, then I'll show you to see what you think:

That naive I am when I grab at straws, as if burned
least another kind of hell
only if you're wrong, talk to me urgently if you
While you are not foolproof who appreciates me. Still
not hide the pain of disappointment,
not make me hit bottom, but feel strange
another person without a soul, another selfish rotten
now I feel very angry, soon fall into oblivion.
return again and again the worst is to believe
someone like that makes him look more than skin if ...
I'll regret someday, sweet bitch,
not calling me when I needed it, inside you
Posh, I think your poetry,
only care about your feelings you girl stoned ...
not listen to me more hits you pig noise and the singing of silly,
I've screwed up, I will not regret if
fuck you hate me without mercy for having accompanied
for listening without thinking turnip,
I'm shattered, but that it you care,
're not special, just another loss. Zorras
believe that butterflies,
containers overturned,
reflection of a wonderful night
for misery and anger.
is completely normal that you have no friends
if people notice you in this form
hurt I had done this more than once,
but you have been able to upload it to level ten
meters, giving you the same as you could see
not understand anything ... well fuck you, I'll tell you. He called me
junkie, but ironically,
Who of the two "did not know what he did?
me the drug does not control my dear bitch ...
I'll tell you a secret,
more a show of respect
two powders reject, out of loyalty to you ...
and now I find this ay vile world.
drunk, I went home alone and depressed all the time
wondering who the fuck I wanted ...
not know that I will for you, a whim, a heater,
forget what I said,
not deserve this song.

All you thought you were, it was only a mirage ... to me you're just meat, you're just mediocre, and you know that I think such and such ... it's a shame but In short, I can only tell you go to shit. I do not deserve.

And you know what's worse? That is absolutely right ...

uu PD: With half Daniela things are arranged but hey, I know it will not be the same again ... Read it

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when you can ok? It's the same old thing, so it's not too important ... I'll put everything as it was, then draw your own conclusions ... I want to know what you think without getting influenced by my opinion ...
Remember what I told you we were very far apart with Daniel? ar as it has sent this private ... I put you and your reply:

Arantxa López Today, 19:37
Hi, I write this private aver alomejor nose because they tell you otherwise, and discuss it with you or because you just need to vent all this.
If you do not think I'm going wrong with all this esuq these alomejor very wrong or I just do not know enough, which really doubt it because I'm sure you know me almost better than me. Tia nose looks very well what is happening to us, but it's clear that something must ... Before we were a weekend without seeing each other and we are already depressed or were seeking any excuse to find a hole and see us, but what now? Now what? It is well that it is only your fault, it is more than clear, but I find many excuses or look for many excuses you this is a matter of the two, perhaps Busne the 3 ... I can not but I can not go on pretending that nothing happens when if happens, when nose really well but it's clear that it happens, alomejor esque fate has decided that we have different ways, maybe, but I sincerely hope that two have the courage to turn around and prove to ourselves that we can and we want to be together.
Many times we have had problems, some more fat than others, but at the end of the problems, I am sure that if other people have had to overcome but you would not have been different, we could overcome everything do you think we with this? Daniela

Butterfly Today, 20:44
I am very grace the situation, this situation. Funny that you're on top of all that I send this private and not vice versa, when ye that bear the three purposes week without being with me, come on, who took three Saturdays to see you, or in the corridors of cubic or when I meet with you by the salamander, above what I'm looking for excuses? Tia I do not look for me at any time I say "hey, I can not get" no, you are. And you tell me before and now we are depressed, sorry, do not be depressed that you, because I fucked up in a way that you can not imagine, what do I do? I keep quiet, because Aunt is your decision, I can not go and tell them not tarry with people with whom you feel most comfortable, I can not, it would be selfish on my part, what kind of friend would I be then?
And if you really think I am thinking not bad, or worse, I had not already realized this, is that wrong you, Arantxa it took weeks of talking with other people, aunts, this is not new, of course something is happening, I'm glad you realize, but which I honestly can not think of any solution.
You complain, well, you complain that if I'm going with Bea cubic or something that, to see if you leave me "Chuck" three weekends in a row, and that is also pretendéis I see that when you jump with excitement, then no, I do not feel like I'm with my friends, with whom I remain, having fun dancing, why should I leave when it is they who are with me Saturday if, Saturday, too? Did not you you would have to come, if after being with other people, you want to be me? You do not understand. And on top you know
also that if we talk little lately, especially Aixa you is because I'm super bundled test and I have no time for anything, and when I say for nothing is not even to yourselves and not what you imagine it hurts, really, can not be with you as long as I like, but when I say I will not charge or for a fraction of guilt, I tell you seriously, because I believe that I have it.
what quedais with other people? I think it's great, hey, that's always good to broaden horizons, get along better with other people, yes, yes it's great, great, but do not come telling me it's me who makes excuses because again, you bring three weekends so that you do not see, four, the next two do not go SEIS, carnival, either, after you have exams, EIGHT, " , Seriously my fault I have not spend time with you? It's more that your mine. I feel the sincerity.
Yeah, I think we can with this, or maybe not, looks do not know, I have not really thought much because I prefer to get positive things in these situations, but certainly, if you do not put of your hand I can not however, I have to admit that I am very easygoing lately, is that this problem is very small compared to what I have at home, at school ... Well, to say the least, if you already know everything, not yours downplayed the record, so forgive me if I have not spent enough time in our relationship.
And after all this that you this if you took all the blame as possible on my birthday (well, still do not know if the dates have changed) I will not receive or a miserable call my best friends, how serious do you think I do not step wrong?

have noticed the ironic tone in ALL private is that it has gone well, and as we are in a moment of total honesty, there have. (Arantxa, well, no need to tell you, but pásaselo Aixa)
Besitos. Aixa


Butterfly Today, 20:57

just want you to know I've hurt your own private lot. If it has become clear that we are very bad, we spent with you and everything you want ... But it was I who arrived an hour late Saturday or who remained in the cast chupi when my best friend. And if I did not stay was because I could not stand the head, when it has gone the other way I've always been that I told you not to go out, that it was important to your health ... But anyway, I guess it would not be the same, of course, it never is ...
Well, that, that hurt me a lot. If you think that's what I do not know ... What can I say? If you say what you say you're going to continue thinking the same thing ... Guess it was not your intention to hurt, but you did, just that. Daniela

Butterfly Today, 21:03

For starters, I live in the fifth hell, I did it purposely miss the bus. But I have endeavored a little bit more if I knew you were going to go, because I learned upon arrival to the salamander.
Aunt, as I said in private, you complain, I decíaa Arantxa, you think I'm going to blame you for that if you have a headache not want to be here? Khobar, is that if I am in your situation would do the same, I think I have never mentioned a word of it. You carry
three weekends as well, okay, that it was the head, but still, if I had not hurt the situation would have been the same, Arantxa you and other people, routine.
Well, now that it hurts you're on equal terms, what bothers to think that your best friend is moving away from you? Join the club.
No, it was not my intention. I

Today, 21:06
Aixa Butterfly Today, 21:06

knew perfectly well that we had birthday.
It would not be your intention, but it's what you've accomplished. I feel completely idiot ... So I tell you. I Bea, Katia, Paola etc. I do not feel well, I do not feel comfortable and being my best friend I think you should understand. Not that I have done nothing is simply not connecting ... What I have to, fuck and be wrong just to see you? Tb because you could set it in your hand, because you say we who distance ourselves ... But you have not tried out with us one afternoon to see that this was not a single afternoon. And how old I am carrying out these and not feel comfortable? 2 years. Or go out with them, but one afternoon of the three ... That makes a lot that we do not.
But of course, is all our fault ... Daniela

Butterfly Today, 21:17

Yes, but I said Arantxa but no you went and ask him.
Let's see, I'll understand me, if my friends tambiény if you know them two years ago, did you read my mind? because so far I've managed to have that capability.
Like I told Arantxa, I salis with people I do not get nothing, if I take you as you carry with me these would surely already attached, but is that to me, go with people neither know to be seeing how well you as you pass, and without talking to anyone, because I prefer to stay at home.
Sorry, but if you have no time for me, nor I for you. Aixa
how much I missed George I? because I learned most of the things that you Arantxa, why? if I can barely talk.
An evening of three? You wanted an evening of three? why do not you proposed?
Two years since you had to quiet him, that you have confidence in me.
Well, yes, because if you over did not even have the courage to come and tell me that you are not comfortable is your fault. Aixa

Butterfly Today, 21:28

And why do not you propose? You see, they are always all Malosse and the others that you try to do everything possible to fix things, you're always looking for solutions ... Well I've seen you propose any. Arantxa If you do not get to send private, eh?
And Jorge, you yourself said you did not want to know anything, you depressed ... And whenever I said something I answered with monosyllables and so on that plan, because one ends up deciding not to talk about it anymore ... Because I felt terrible, auque not know why ... I felt I was doing something that hurt a lot. Look
Daniela, Arantxa you said you're trying to find a solution. I do not think there is, so clear I tell you, because you do not put anything on your part. Only You put things in the face and you put on edge. Ar has given you plenty of solutions that you know you are by the two and you just keep arguing. That's to fix? Oops ... What more rare.
To me the feeling I get is that you no longer want to be our friend and we make excuses and to blame you for not coping. Daniela

Butterfly Today, 21:46

To me the feeling I get is that no want to continue being our friend and we make excuses and to blame you for not coping.

More pain it can not make me. The dish is served in vengaza cold eh?
No of course not any, if you think so sure there is not. Aixa

Butterfly Today, 21:55

If you think it is revenge ... It's sincerity, it hurts, I know, but I think it's necessary. You're not the first nor will be the last, I say it hurts as I say things ... But if anything has taught me life is that in the long run is better than anything. On the street we are here is just a sample.
If you think there is not as you've gotten ... Because the first private hast commanded was not for nothing, "let's work things out" ... I'm not going to do is feel bad when I have it, or let a person make me feel so ... Because I do not know the damage you could do me with your words.
By the way, I'm going to change the name of tuenti. Neither you nor I feel ya, let's be honest ... I'm not the same nor do I like when I wore it, I do not advisable to continue having it ... Do what you want, I respect him for sending it going to change.